The Wreckage by Robin Morgan-Bentley

Author:Robin Morgan-Bentley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Orion

BEN

Friday, 25 May

OK, let me read the text again. It’s never good to respond quickly to things like this – always better to give yourself a few minutes to reflect, really think about it – otherwise, you end up saying something you regret. It was such an extensive block of text and I was so eager to take it all in straight away that I didn’t start at the beginning. Instead, I skipped to the middle of the first paragraph, scanning up and down, looking for the key words in each sentence to try to catch the gist of the message as a whole within the first few seconds.

I remember a similar feeling when I got a letter from Cambridge University, containing the verdict as to whether or not I had been accepted to study there as an undergraduate. I was desperate to be accepted and I ripped open the envelope, unfolding the letter, my hands shaking, only seeing the word ‘delighted’ before throwing the letter down and screaming in jubilation. In that case, the result had been as I had hoped: the head of admissions was ‘delighted to let me know’ that I had been accepted on the course.

When I opened the text message from Alice, the first words I saw were ‘kind’, ‘thoughtful’ and ‘relationship’, so in those first few instants, my heart raced and I felt a wave of relief, from my head right down my body. But then on second reading, some other words appeared. ‘Disappointing’ was first and then ‘friends’, and my heart picked up even more pace, my hands started to shake and I felt light-headed. I threw my phone down on the bed and took three deep breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale, trying to get things in perspective. And then I must have fallen back to sleep, because my alarm’s only just gone off.

I feel calmer now. I pick up the phone again and read the text properly, this time from start to finish. As I read, I can feel my eyes welling, my mind racing with questions and indignations. What had brought on this sudden change of heart? Why did this coincide with the first time we made love? What is really behind this message? Has someone made her write this?

There’s no way I can go into school today. I have to get to the bottom of this. I ring the school reception.

‘Hey, Linda, it’s Ben Anderson. Just to let you know that I’m feeling a bit under the weather and so I won’t be coming into school today.’

Linda sighs and then concedes. ‘Well, I suppose it’s for the best. We don’t want you infecting all the children.’

And then I cough, a pathetic, superficial bleat that comes out without thought.

‘Thanks, Linda. I think there’s probably something going around. Hopefully, I will be back in tomorrow.’

‘OK, Mr Anderson. Well, you have a nice rest then and get yourself better.’

I put the phone down and head across to the study, switching my computer on to try to figure out an action plan.

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